I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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