Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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