They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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