jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
