This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
