Nicole vs. Life
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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