There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
