You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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