are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
