just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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