Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
