He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
