Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize