i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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