Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
