im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
