No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
