I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
