Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
