YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
