my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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