WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
