i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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