my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
