I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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