And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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