i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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