Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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