Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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