You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize