Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
