actually, I'm a sock model
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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