PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
