So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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