oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
They took my balls.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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