frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize