Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
