Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
