Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
