Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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