I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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