Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
