I love black thongs
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
