Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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