I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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