Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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