I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
soo... how was my night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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