i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize