i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
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It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
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This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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