I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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