so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
