i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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