So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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