Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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