i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want her autograph on my taint
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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