I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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