Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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