Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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