im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
