So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
