just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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