I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
