Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum

(212): View more from New York

i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls

Fav 8 1282 1770
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots

Fav 102 6659 1027
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

Fav 48 937 8365
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.

Fav 25 5063 1927
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(319): View more from Iowa

I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

Fav 13 5771 1162
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

Fav 11 4322 1185
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...

Fav 7 2401 1401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.

Fav 0 565 297
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson

Fav 0 139 82
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT