Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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