Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!