what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
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My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?