i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.