after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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